This is a pretty sweet illustration. I’m guessing it has been used somewhere else, but I don’t care. I like it and I like Josh cause he’s cool. At least as a blogger. Haven’t really met him before, but I suppose that doesn’t matter. Check this out:

Leaky Trust Bank from HSM on Vimeo.

In the two years that I have worked with the Senior High at my church, I think I have heard this phrase used more times than I can count in my head (My short term memory isn’t very good, but you can make all the intelligence jokes you like as long as it makes you laugh). The reality is, in the size of ministry that I am currently working, there is no humanly way that I can connect with every single student that comes through the doors. Now, Jesus, He might be able to pull that off. I, however, contrary to popular belief, am not Jesus.

Favorites. If there is a prominent leader in any group of humans, it seems that someone will come away thinking that someone is playing favorites. I hate the thought that any student would think that I don’t value them, but the reality is that I cannot completely control their perspective and interpretation of my actions. But, maybe there are some things that we can do to change that tone?

Here are some of my thoughts:

• Regularly Broaden Your Scope
• I’ve noticed that if you can find ways to send messages or simply say “Hey” to students when they least expected it, you can speak volumes to their interpretation of your interpretation of them. A little can go a long way.
• Find Ways to Involve Others
• In my office, I have a list of students from each grade that have ever walked through the doors. One thing that I have been good at is contacting the same students for different opportunities in our ministry as they come up. So, to remedy that, I have been trying to find other students who are involved that may not be on my mental list. It is amazing what can happen when you tap the shoulder of someone who has just been waiting for your call.
• Meet with the Dissenters
• If we are honest with ourselves, we have to know that there are some in our ranks that are not completely on board with what we are doing. They typically will keep to themselves and not participate. If they do rise up, it usually is as a group. Engage in those conversations. Press into the conflict and show that person(s) value. The reality is, the conversation can go a long way to a person who wants to be heard.

Just some things that I have been learning as we have progressed through the year. I hope to find these things implemented for next year as we look to change up and mix up the faces that we regularly see on our stage and on the platform of influence in our ministry.

Expectations. Rules. Guidelines.

We all have them and no matter what we are trying to accomplish, they must be communicated. However, the way that we communicate them is one of those HUGE little things that if not taken into account and done well, can help to distract, disillusion, and divide the groups we work with as youth workers. And sometimes, they simply are not heard because of how we tried to communicate them.

Critical to communicating expectations is being CRYSTAL CLEAR the FIRST TIME. If you can’t accurately communicate clearly the expectations of a given task or event, we have not done our homework and probably need to simplify it. The clearer we make expectations, the easier we make it for students and parents to be able to meet and support those expectations.

Equally important to clearly communicating expectations is the WORDS that we use to EXPRESS those guidelines. Students today are inundated with rules established in response to actions, expectations established to meet standards, and generally, poorly communicated rationale for those fences. Because of that, we really get one shot at fitting into the bandwidth available in their minds.

Positive communication is critical to this process. So, if we are talking about a trip that a student commits to, communicate everything related to that trip in a way that would enhance their experience. “If you want to be prepared the best for your trip, you should probably take this thing very seriously.” The key to this is leaving it at that and continually reinforcing the reality that each student has the ability to make or break their own personal experience.

Finally, underlying this entire discussion is the understanding that NOBODY LIKES A SINKING SHIP. A phrase I first heard from Tony Morgan and Tim Stevens in reference to how to promote volunteer positions applies just as much to this discussion. Most expectations that students encounter are established in reaction to a previous negative experience. The Church of Jesus Christ should understand rules differently, and therefore, communicate them differently. In Exodus 20:2, God makes it extremely clear why He was handing down the Ten Commandments and it was not because He wanted to restrict His people. He wanted them to have the best possible and most life-giving experience possible while they lived on this earth. What if our expectations did the same thing in our ministries and our events?

So, many proms have taken place and parents and pastors alike all across the country get just a little nervous and minds race every time their phones ring. Tonight, two of our local schools are hosting their proms. But, forget all of that. I’m pumped!

Tonight, boys have the opportunity to be men. Girls have the opportunity to be women. It’s a very obvious moment in a student’s life to grow up a bit. To grow up a lot and make responsible, wise decisions. Decisions that we know that they can make. Decisions that they know they should make.

Reality is this: We aren’t going to stop Prom, or everything that is going to take place at and around Prom from happening necessarily. We aren’t going to stop all the students from making their decisions. So, I look at the situation and I have decided to get pumped about the potential this evening poses.

So, BOYS- Step up and be Men.
GIRLS- Step up and be Women.

I think tonight has the potential to be an awesome night. I hope you have a ton of fun and we get to celebrate soon!

Saw a fantastic post this week on Josh Griffin’s blog talking about the times that you want to quit. I have been in a couple of the situations that Josh listed, but the one that rang true for me was:

After the best event of your youth ministry career
When you are disconnected from the church, you are in danger. Have you ever come back from a mission trip on a high that no one else was on? Have you ever walked inside the church riding a high after the biggest overnighter in the history of your church only to be greeted be an angry parent or vindictive trustee? Maybe you’ve just given a project your all, and you saw God do something amazing, and you’re immediately called to lead something else and you were just hoping for a break. A key moment of vulnerability is when you are on top of the world.

You can check the rest of the post out by heading over to Josh’s blog. MorethanDodgeball is a fantastic site for resources and connecting with other youth workers.